I am better than I use to be.

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With a soft smile, I can’t help but remember, how 6 years ago, at the point of change, I was in a completely difference space in place.

At the point of change, when divorce become the only option for us, I remember wishing that this episode in my life could be over and done with. I felt like running away and being anywhere but in the place, of painful reminders. My heart pounded incessantly and I felt like I carried a heavy load on my back.

I would ask everyone, I knew who went through a divorce, how long it took them to get over their divorce. Desperately needing a quick fix and to be over it for good. Their answers did not help a restless spirit like me. It seemed to range from 2 to 6 years. “6 Years! What are they crazy, that’s forever”, I thought.

Well I can tell you, I did travel a lot in and outside South Africa and I have found that wherever I went, there I was, as restless as ever. Internally reflecting: “What happened? When? Why? Now what?” Sure the scenery of the places I travelled were beautiful and allowed for amazing experiences. But the internal reflections and healing continued undisturbed, regardless of where I found myself.

As I went through this changing life event, I found it easier to kick away from my comfort-zone. I started to take new paths in my life, paths I never thought of taking before.

As I did this my horizons shifted, my heart and mind started to open. The pain lifted and the blessings unfolded. I started to understand why, the road, I was now traveling on, was destined for me. I developed new capabilities I never knew existed and my dharma, my life purpose, become clearer. I started to see, how I contributed to the shift that happened in my life. The role of victim lifted. The warmth of self-love blossomed, and my self-development allowed me to morph into who I am.

I am happier than I have ever been. I am whole spiritually and I embrace life more fully than before. Sure it took me awhile to get here, but I am so happy for the experience.

I am happy that I was brave enough to face myself, to forgive whole heartedly and to get to a place in my life of love & peace.

Many angels helped me get to where I am today, especially, my ultimate favourite spiritual guru, Wayne Dyer. Who encourages everyone to play the match game with themselves, & thus allowing themselves, to become better than they use to be. (The Power of intention – by Wayne Dyer)

I am proud to say, I am better than I use to be and wish that I could have said to my earlier self, at the point of change, “Don’t worry. You’ll be better than you use to me, inside & out.”

With love & light

Ash

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