Embracing my flaws

How I embraced my flaws for a beautiful life?

How I embraced my flaws for a beautiful life is a process that has taken me years. I am finally at a place in my life where I look at myself with love and kindness. I embrace my flaws and finally understand the makings of a beautiful life.

Flaws and ‘If only’

If you are anything like my younger self, you would’ve experienced many ‘if only moments’. I used to look at my body with all its imperfection and wish that my eyes were smaller, my nose pert and my body more perfectly proportioned. If only was always on my lips as an adolescent; teenagers can be merciless with all their teasing.

How I embraced my flaws for a beautiful life

If only, unfortunately, didn’t end at my physical features or character flaws. It often accompanied the choices I made, like the cheater I married and all my misadventures. My silly moments when terrible words escape my mouth, or I acted like an oaf and hurt someone I love. The jobs I chose, the mistakes I made and even the retro wardrobe I selected once upon a time (some items I still wear).  

I found that moments of certainly sometimes threw me into the arms of life’s never-ending lessons. It is times of tears, headbanging and wishing for perfection. My flaws and broken parts use to walk together with my ‘if only’.

Can you avoid the ‘if only’ and walk life’s path unscathed from any stress or challenge? Many enlightened teachers often share that this is certain, but it was something they found after mishaps and embracing life’s lessons.  It’s in accepting that imperfections are unavoidable that I learned how to embraced my flaws for a beautiful life?

Flaws and imperfections are unavoidable yet leads to a beautiful life

It doesn’t matter how delicately you try to walk the path of your life, inevitably there will be someone who will break your heart. You will make many mistakes and you will discover that failure marks the walls of a life well-lived. The crushing pain from your inner critique, your ego, will be hard to avoid. But you will eventually learn that pain, disappointment, failure, and loss lead you to the most memorable experiences of your life.

You learn to cherish all that you are, the good and the bad, the pieces and the whole, and the heart full of life. It may at times feel easier to give up, but when you don’t, you find that hard times mends the essence of a blossoming life.

You are beautiful and glorious in your imperfections

Don’t be scared to live, take risks, love wholeheartedly, care with abundance, cry with satisfaction, and marvel at a healing wound.  You are meant to leave your mark on the physical world. You are meant to love, cry, laugh and triumph. It is all part and parcel of a life well-lived.

The temptation to discard our broken pieces are the greatest in hard times. When the squeeze of life is a lot more palpable. Wherever you try to run to, you find all of you. Beautiful and glorious in your imperfections. The story of your life is told by each broken piece and it is because of it that you have become glorious.

Kintsugi the art of embracing your flaws for a beautiful life

So, how do you reconcile your flaws, broken pieces, and joy into a beautiful life? This can be done by the practice of Kintsugi. It is the art of embracing your flaws for a beautiful life

Literally, it means putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold. It’s built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art.

A broken teacup led to Kintsugi

It was invented around the fifteenth century, when Ashikaga Yoshimasa, the eighth shogun (Japanese commander-and-chief / ruler) of the Ashikaga shogunate, broke his favourite teacup and had it sent to China to repair it. During those times objects were repaired with unsightly and impractical metal ligatures. It seemed that the cup was unrepairable, but Ashikaga was resolute in having it repaired and so, some Japanese craftsmen repaired it. They decided to transform the cup into a jewel by filling its cracks with lacquered resin and powdered gold.

The six lessons that Kintsugi teaches you is to

  1. Look at ways to repair broken objects; and in so doing retain its usefulness and increase its value especially, it’s sentimental value.  In the same way, by looking at your broken parts as a sum of who you are, you see the magic of all that you bring to you and the world. It’s the reason you can do what you do. It’s what makes you shine.
  2. Accept and embrace all that you are. Your story of imperfection and the bumpy road you travelled helped to shapes who you’ve become.
  3. Find your inner strength and to be resilient. You survived all that life threw at you and, your story serves as an inspiration to many people.
  4. Appreciate all that you are and celebrate all your imperfections as symbols of beauty and courage.
  5. Celebrate your life and exhibit it proudly.
  6. Live with abundance and risks. You can’t be too cautious in living otherwise you miss out on a beautiful life. Sure, you may encounter hard times and have a few scars to show for it. But you are living life to the fullest. What is more beautiful than this? The lessons of Kintsugi is how I embraced my flaws for a beautiful life.

The broken parts of a friendship

I have recently made up with a friend after a breakup of several years. I thought that our relationship was over. It was a painful experience for both of us. There were reasons as to why it ended for each of us. We touched each other’s lives in many ways. It is good being part of each other’s lives again. We have mended our relationship and the art of Kintsugi shines brightly in our lives. We appreciate each other more and truly enjoy being together. It’s the pain and the joy that creates our strongest bond.

Opportunities to apply Kintsugi

So, as I walk in my own life, I look out for opportunities to practice and apply the art of Kintsugi. I look for moments of converting a painful experience into one of joy. This is the art of embracing my flaws and imperfections into the work of art; and in so doing create a beautiful life.

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